The following story is by a local contributor for Hoptown Chronicle’s 2026 Holiday Humor series, which highlights the lighter side of life with family and friends from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
(Editor’s note: Hopkinsville educator Wayne Goolsby shares a few holiday memories of growing up in Pembroke. As he he told Hoptown Chronicle editor Jennifer P. Brown, “You are making me go into the roughest neighborhood in town: Memory Lane. However, I will do it for you.”)
Did that bird shrink?
I don’t know how true it is, but I remember my mother telling a story about a housewife who asked a neighbor to check on her Thanksgiving turkey while she (the housewife) ran to church to do some errands.
The friend did as requested, but substituted a small Cornish hen for the large, baking Butterball in the oven.
I’m sure the story played well at Bridge and Canasta parties for years.
One lively turkey
I also remember as a small boy traveling to Gallatin, Tennessee, where my grandmother had promised to give my mother a turkey for thanksgiving.
I was shocked to discover that they planned to put a live, trussed up bird in the trunk of my daddy’s Oldsmobile and transport it to Pembroke!
I pitched such a fit that my sweet granny relented and told my parents that she would dress the bird if they would come back later to retrieve it, oven-ready.
As we drove down the drive with no turkey in the trunk, my mother, dressed to the nines as always, turned to me in the backseat, smiled, and said, “I owe you one.”
A snowy Christmas Day
As you have no doubt figured out, holidays were a big part of my growing up in a large, old Southern family. Easter was always most important with Christmas and Thanksgiving coming in close.
The holidays were always a time for a b-i-g dinner with lots of friends, family, and distant family included.
My grandfather, who crossed over long before I was born, had a number of siblings who were often present.
I remember one Christmas when we had a large snowfall on Christmas morning. We got the call early that morning that dear Uncle Ben, my grandfather’s brother, his wife, our dainty little Aunt Emma, and her son, Robert, a World War II veteran, had deemed the roads unsafe to travel all the way from their home in Clarksville, Tennessee, right next door to Austin Peay State University, to our home in Pembroke. There was an air of disappointment felt by all.
I was standing alone at the front door window when I spotted a huge Cadillac gliding like a blue ship up the road and coming to a stop right in front of the porch.
Tiny Aunt Emma was wiggling fingers in a black leather glove. Uncle Ben dismounted in a three-piece suit, tie, beige topcoat, and brown Fedora. Our South Pacific hero, Cousin Robert, had saved the day.
We were all together. It was Christmas at last.
The main course had mileage
Not all of my holiday memories center around the Primms. The first Sunday after Christmas, we headed to Greenbrier, Tennessee, to celebrate with my father’s sister, my dear Aunt Ruby.
The food was always incredible. Aunt Ruby was an excellent cook and hostess, and Uncle Robert was a delightful storyteller.
At Aunt Ruby’s I always got to sit at the grownup table in the dining room. (Only the best for her older brother’s only son!) After saying thanks, Aunt Ruby asked Uncle Robert to go to the utility room and bring in the turkey.
This was not the season’s first dinner party. Like any good husband, Uncle Robert rose from his chair and headed toward the hall. In the dining room doorway, he stopped, turned to the waiting diners, smiled a mischievous smile, and said, “You know what? I believe I have carried that old bird farther than he ever walked!”
Wayne Goolsby is an educator and co-owner of Books on Main in downtown Hopkinsville with his wife, Pam Goolsby. He has lived in Christian County all his life, as did his parents, grandparents, great-grandparents … and all of his mother’s family since the early 1800s.
